child-of-thanatos:

leftists:

In fifth grade we were making little clay statues and mine came out shitty so I left a big air pocket in it so it would explode when the teacher put it in the kiln and it exploded so hard it destroyed ten other kids’s statues and they were all on the verge of tears I thought it was really funny I still do

image

(Source: chekhov, via theblackship)

hey-there-sugartits:

lapfoxs:

A MOSQUITO TRIED TO BITE ME AND I SLAPPED IT AND KILLED IT AND I STARTED THINKING LIKE IT WAS JUST TRYING TO GET FOOD WHAT IF I WENT TO THE FRIDGE AND IT JUST SLAMMED THE DOOR SHUT AND SNAPPED MY NECK HOW WOULD I FEEL

are u okay

(Source: bakrua, via theblackship)

cripplingdebt:

lumos5001:

this is why snails were created


I hope he has a good day at work.

cripplingdebt:

lumos5001:

this is why snails were created

I hope he has a good day at work.

(Source: mymindstheweapon91, via theblackship)

aye-trashley:

out of all the words they could graffiti this is what they chose

aye-trashley:

out of all the words they could graffiti this is what they chose

(via thats-so-meme)

Mmmmnope

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via theblackship)

a-great-perhaps-in-a-paper-town:

j-to-rule-the-world:

shell-tear-your-world-apart:

endsofadream:

SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.

Now that’s how you get laid boys.

thats how you get laid ANYBODY

Literally

a-great-perhaps-in-a-paper-town:

j-to-rule-the-world:

shell-tear-your-world-apart:

endsofadream:

SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.

Now that’s how you get laid boys.

thats how you get laid ANYBODY

Literally

(via theblackship)

greatesthungergamesfans:

500daysofsassy:

my brother has been saying to me “have you seen the lenny kravitz scarf picture yet?????????????????????????????” and i always have no idea what he was talking about 

and now ive seen the light

image

he’s here to make an impression

(Source: notkatniss, via theblackship)

unradly:

relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

bust ya nut and off ya strut

Y’all some creative motherfuckers

unradly:

relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

bust ya nut and off ya strut

Y’all some creative motherfuckers

(via theblackship)

thatfunnyblog:

she died like 17 times

thatfunnyblog:

she died like 17 times

(Source: loboculiao)

(Source: mesovideo, via thatfunnyblog)

basedgosh:

basedgosh:

note to self: “love yourself” does not mean spend $40 on chinese food when you’re broke

who am i kidding yes it does. never listen to me

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

thesoldierfromthemountains:

earthdad:

a cute snail eating a strawberry
u just take ur time there lil buddy

ANYONE ELSE FIRST THINK THAT THIS FREAKING SNAIL UNHINGED IT’S HUGEASS JAW OH MY GOD

thesoldierfromthemountains:

earthdad:

a cute snail eating a strawberry

u just take ur time there lil buddy

ANYONE ELSE FIRST THINK THAT THIS FREAKING SNAIL UNHINGED IT’S HUGEASS JAW OH MY GOD

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

ermathursty:

Saw this tip jar at my Dairy Queen today and lost it at tipiosa.

ermathursty:

Saw this tip jar at my Dairy Queen today and lost it at tipiosa.

(via tastefullyoffensive)

nothomo:

when ur parents call u for dinner and u see they made your fav

image

(via thefuuuucomics)

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